July 15th, 2022, Las Vegas, NV (Cannonball) – There is no story quite as triumphant and defiant as that of Las Vegas sports. You see, Vegas was always a city of spectacle, wealth and size however these qualities found themselves to be continuously ignored by mega sporting leagues. They avoided Las Vegas as if it were cholera, terrified that the nature of the city would corrupt the very souls of their pure and morally upstanding professional athletes with truly unforgivable vices… Like gambling… and sports betting… And gambling… Those were the dark times, but there was one team whom we could rely on, the Las Vegas 5- I mean the Las Vegas Aviators. Even in days of extreme competition, they still dare to keep going strong.
That brings us to the current moment in the aftermath of their most recent game. A fierce and exhilarating battle with the… “Bees” hailing from North Mormonland. I had the great fortune of attending this affair and I must say that for the whole of 6 hours, my passion for Minor League Baseball had reinvigorated and peaked like never before. Everything about the game of Minor League Baseball is so intriguing! The throwing! The catching! The hitting! And then the catching again! It’s truly something which I have never seen before. The complexity of this game blows even NASCAR completely out of the water. You see, The Quarterback is trying to throw the ball to the wide receiver, but the cornerback is trying to stop that. However, if the Cornerback does actually manage to intercept the pass, he will find himself brutally attacked by an assortment of offensive linemen and tight ends.
Furthermore, the fast-paced and exciting nature of the game was only complimented by the tenacious performance exhibited by the 51iators. They played with the energy of a NyQuil fueled Morrissey concert. In that sense I respect the boldness and entertainment factor of their display. There is nothing more promising than watching a hometown team get curb stomped 6-3. Thats because we actually won the battle within our own selves, like Rocky, so we actually came out on top in this confrontation, and I’d like to see more of this sheer grit which our Alienators have shown. There was nothing grittier than watching the bases be loaded in the third quarter only for the best preforming Defensive Back to strike out when it mattered most. You know what they say, hard times create strong men. Thus, it is only reasonable to assume that bad losses create good teams. Just look at the Cleveland Browns. Everything is fine. For that reason, I select that moment to be our play of the game. As for our player of the game, it’s obviously going to be Jake (possibly from State Farm) who did pretty rad.
Finally, I must commentate on the setting in which the game took place. First of all, the stadium is pretty nifty. The weather of the outing was a sunny 100 and something degrees, so very nice weather. The events were interesting, sort of. A kid got his life ruined during musical chairs, oh well, I guess he also won the battle within himself, they outta invite him back next game so that he may commence his redemption arc. The mascots are undesirable, especially the duck whom I’d go as far as to label as being “sus.” I much more so favor “Mexican Superman,” the beloved mascot of the Las Vegas Lights FC. A dignified mascot. I also think that the lake people should probably change their team’s name to the “hornets” or something.
Anyways, that’s all I really have to say. So have a good day and remember to keep loving Las Vegas Sports. Goodbye.
🙂
